The Bestest Cookies in the Whole Wide World

Who wants cookies? I think we are kidding ourselves if we decide to never have junk food. So rather than being upset that the kids are eating junk, turn the junk into something nutritious. But make sure that it still has plenty of calories and fat, we want it to taste good! These are my favorite cookie recipe. One thing that makes me love this recipe is the versatility.

I just want to warn you to have several gallons of cold milk ready before you start making these, you will be wanting it.

Oh, and those of you looking for some witty dialogue and funny captions aren't gonna get it tonight. There is nothing funny about these cookies. You just need to bake some. I also don't feel funny. That is what the butter and sugar look like when you cream them together. I know that the first picture is supposed to be a nice still life of ingredients but I was in a BIG hurry the day I baked these. You are going to have to be grateful for any pics at all. So just be happy. BE HAPPY! Because I just feel tired and worn down, so I am going to have to live vicariously through all of my blog readers and pretend I am jovial. .... Hmmm... not working yet, but I will keep trying.
This is 5 cups of oats in the blender. i love my blender. It is so stinking handy. OHH I am smiling at the blender. OOOHHH I am gonna get happy writing this post, I can feel it.
This is what the oats look like after you have blended them up. It is extremely satisfying to watch the oats in the blender. They rise up the side and fall down the middle. I enjoy watching oats almost as much as I like to watch the washing machine wash the clothes. I could watch that all afternoon. Have I mentioned that we do not have television? You have to make your own fun when you live in the country.

I added the nuts and coconut in with the oats and blended them up. I would be happy with them just thrown in the batter but that would KILL my picky eaters. I wouldn't want to have to fuss at any of the children to finish their cookies, so I make sure to make them palatable to everyone.

And now I am using another kitchen gadget that puts a smile on my face... the metal scoopy thing from Pampered Chef. I have all three sizes. For these cookies I used Medium. But I could really care less what size you use. You could even doing that old fashioned way and use 2 spoons but I don't remember how to do it like that.
And now through the miracle of Lap top computer blogging I present: Finished cookie. warning, pour the milk now, or just grab the jug and chug like I do. The most amazing part is that in the pic above the cookies have chocolate chips and are on a stone and the picture above that one they have no chocolate chips and are on a metal pan.

Is something fishy going on? I am afraid that I have some secrets that I just cannot reveal to you because if I did then I would have to kill you! Remember, I am the spawn of the International Man of Mystery.

Okay, now the moment you have been begging me for. The recipe for the worlds tastiest cookies.

• 2 cups butter
• 4 cups brown sugar
• 4 eggs
• 5 cups oatmeal, blended
• 2 cups nuts
• 2 cups coconut
• 2 teaspoons vanilla
• 4 cups whole wheat flour
• 2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 bag chocolate chips

Alrighty now. Here's what you gonna do. Did I mention the milk? Go ahead and pour yourself a glass right now, just because it is yummy. Now did you see the whole wheat flour? This recipe is really healthy so don't get you knickers in a twist about what to fix for dinner. Cynthia's got your back! Just serve these puppies hot from the oven. Your family will be kissing your feet.

Oh, back to the food...

Cream the butter and the sugar. Add the eggs and vanilla. Blend the oats and the nut s and coconut, if you want them blended also. (you have to blend the oats) Now mix all the dry stuff together, you know the drill. add the dry to the wet and mix it up. then add the chocolate chips. I make these with out the choc. chips a lot. Harrison DIES when he gets near choc. chips, so I make some minus the chips. these are also good with toffee chips. Now bake them in a 375 degree oven for 8 to 12 minutes. don't let them get too brown. You know you want them all soft and gooey.

Pass the milk...

Fried Potatoes and Onions

Okay, here we go. Easy, easy, easy. Grab some potatoes and some onions. I use either Idaho, Red or Yukon Gold. I do not use Russet's from Wisconsin or anywhere but Idaho. It's not that I have anything against Wisconsin, but their potatoes are NASTY in my opinion. And my opinion is really important on this blog. Just do as I say! No Wisconsin potatoes!!! Now some onions would be lovely. I love these Peru sweet onions. I also love Vidalias when they are in season. Mmmmm... Okay, it gets a little scary here. I am kind of a freak with hot popping oil situations. My suggestion is to cover yourself up as much as you can. Like maybe put on your long winter coat. Some leather gloves. A beekeepers hat and veil, if you have one handy. It's just a suggestion.

Let this oil warm up while you dice your potatoes into little...dices... and if you are thinking about peeling them the answer is no! That takes entirely too much effort. I would never make this dish if I had to peel potatoes. I hate peeling potatoes.

Does that look like enough oil to you? It wasn't even close to enough. I had to add a bunch more after I threw the potatoes in. It would be better to start with enough oil, but it is not a tragedy to add more, just make sure the heat is turned up to medium high. You will have to stay here next to the stove the whole time you are cooking, so don't be afraid to get it hot. Oh, this is canola oil. You gotta be heart healthy when you cook! You could use olive oil, if you wanted, but mine was way across the house in the pantry and the canola is right there near the stove, so uh, score one for the canola.


Hello you pretty red potatoes. Now get brown! Just stir a little and let them get good and brown. Do you have one of these? It is for Defensive Cooking, which I am all about. I really don't like getting hurt. This hold in a lot of the pops. You will probably have to put a real lid on for about 5 or 10 minutes so the potatoes get tender. I had to cover these for about 5 minutes. If they get brown and aren't tender yet, just cover 'em. You could cover'em first and then brown second, but I live a renegade cooking lifestyle.
Oh, that was about 6 potatoes, but those red potatoes aren't very big. Here are 2 onions that I sliced. I like to leave them big so I can pick them back out at the end and give myself more onions than potatoes. This is okay, because my husband wants more potatoes anyway. We are a team like that, each of us always pulling equal weight in our marriage. You believe me, right?

Oh yeah, those look fabulous. work it baby, work it. My technique with the pancake turner is legendary.
Helloooo onions! Add the onions when the potatoes are done 'cause the onions only take a few minutes. Add more oil if you are in doubt. You want the onions to be gleaming with oil. It is a nice healthy gleam! Now mix it all up and cook just until the onions go limp and become slightly translucent. I like to keep a little crunch to them.
Oh, man, a plate of heaven. Now load this down with some freshly ground salt and pepper and enjoy. If you are freaky like my husband you will now add about 3 cups f ketchup, but I would never ever mess with this perfection by adding a condiment! Burt don't worry, I won't judge you too harshly if you do.
Spell check just picked up nine misspellings for potato. I know how to spell potato. I am not Dan Quayle! Hey, that rhymes! Maybe I should start a poetry site! HAHAHA

Anyway, my problem is not spelling, it is typing. I am a dork typist. Just thought you would like to know. Now I have to hit spell check again and pick up the mistakes I just made.

Granola Topped Banana Bran Muffins

Here is a recipe that is going to make the mouths in your house beg for more, more, more! So give it to 'um. We love muffins at our house. They are nutritious and easy to have on hand. We make big batches and store in the freezer . Then we can grab them out to pack into lunches or eat at breakfast or eat at midnight when I get really hungry and need a meal. They are just yummy.

Let's get started. Please don't be cross with me because of all these ingredients. You don't have to make these very often, remember the freezer? It is your friend. Just grab some gallon size freezer bags and you can bake dozens of luscious muffins and enjoy them for weeks, or even months, if you are not a little food piggy like me.

RECIPE INGREDIENTS:
1 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup wheat bran
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup mashed bananas (about 2 medium)
1 cup buttermilk
1/4 cup canola oil
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips (optional)
1 cup granola

Do you see our friend whole wheat in there? He will make you feel strong and healthy. And regular. First grab a big bowl and put all of the dry ingredients in. Give it a good mix with a whisk. Using a whisk is very fun, I always feel cooler when I use a whisk. Using the whisk will probably make your children want to help you because whisks are kid magnets. Just thought I would warn you.
Now take all the wet stuff and put it in another bowl and whisk it up. It is even more cool if you hold the bowl under one arm at an angle and whisk away. Speak in French as you do it. Now clean up the batter you slopped on the floor. You are probably neater than me. My kitchen floor always has batter, etc, on it. Oh, IGNORE that I used a spatula instead of a whisk in the picture, I was not very cool when I was making this.

Oops, are you fresh out of buttermilk? No worries matey, just put a couple of Tablespoons of white vinegar into the measuring cup then fill it up to the 1 cup line. Now empty the dishwasher like you meant to do before you started making the muffin batter. And just like that you have a cup of lumpy, thick, gross buttermilk. I don't like buttermilk just in my measuring cup. I am funny that way. But I LOVE buttermilk in my recipes!
I am afraid it is time to put the whisk in the sink. Pour the wet into the dry and stir until just combined. The recipe says the chocolate chips are optional. I never use them. For one thing I like it better without them and second I have son who HATES chocolate chips. In anything.
It is all combined and ready to be baked. Either put it in muffin tins that have been greased on the bottom (they pop out really easily) or lined with those paper muffin thingies. I prefer spraying them with canola oil spray. Sprinkle the granola evenly over the tops before you bake them. Yes, my granola had raisins in it. I picked them all out before sprinklin' otherwise I would have KILLED my children. I don't have time for funeral, jail time, and all the rest, so I just went ahead and picked the raisins out. Hey kids, don't say I've never done anything for you!

Bake for about 12 to 15 minutes at 400 degrees.

Enjoy!

Smoothies

I know, I know. I have let you down, and you were counting on me.

This blog has cobwebs.

Even worse, I promised wheat and I am not going to deliver, today.

I do have a yummy smoothie. I think I should call it Miriam's Smooth Operator Smoothie. This may seem obvious to some of you, but I bummed the recipe off of my friend Miriam.

It is so easy...

See these 4 items? That's right, honey, 4 ingredients. You are half way to smoothie heaven. Now I am gonna use some very technical terms here in a minute. Just get out your copy of The Joy of Cooking and open up to the glossary in the back.

Ready?

In your blender drop one PEELED banana. Please, for heavens sake, do not mess that part up. We are not making Chunkies. We can talk about our thighs later! Now pour in about half a cup of orange juice. Put a couple of big spoonfuls of vanilla yogurt on top of that.

Am I going too fast?

Now about a cup of frozen strawberries.

Blend.

If it seems a little too thick, add a little OJ or yogurt, whichever you can reach first.

See what a pretty pink color. I love pink. I love this Oster blender because I like to think that it was made right here in my little town at the Oster Factory. I know my dog clippers were made there because I actually bought them there. Oh, do not ever use your dog clippers while drinking a smoothie. GROSS things will happen to your smoothie.

As my teenagers would say: Yeah, I went there! Dog hair IN your smoothie. GAG

Here it is, ready to be gobbled up by me as I read everyone else's blogs. And peruse the cooking sites. Now, what is for dinner?